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my Question

Dear mom,
Mera pranaam lijiye…

mere papa kehte the, “Sabse pyar karo, lekin kisi se kuch umeed mat rakhna”. Me kehta tha, “Agaar umeed hi nahi rakhni to pyar vi kiu karna?”…fir papa bolte the, “Nahi, pyaar karo, pyaar to tumhe karna padega…”…aaj tak mujhe is sawal ka jabab nahi mila…

Lagvag 6 saal ho gye ye yakin karte huye ki insaani dimag me kuch to rahasya hai! Lagvag 2 saal huye hai apko me janta hu, lekin inn 2 saalo me shayad aapko me bahut jyada samajhne laga hu.

Kya sab maya hai? Jhuth hai? kareeb 9-10 mahino se aisa lagta hai ki shayad me koi sapna dekh raha hu…mere saare apne, paraye sab mere hi banaye huye, imagination ke kirdaar hai…mere mummy, papa, room-mates, pyaar karnewale sab…sapne me mera janam hota hai, moth v, mere haath pyar hai, khun ki rang laal aur aasman neela hai, mere jaise or v bohut koi jo mere jaise hi paida hote hai, marte hai. iss sapne me mujhe pyar hota hai, me Computer Engineering ko zariya bana ke insani dimag aur computer me kya rishta banaya ja sakta hai uska research karta hu, Artificial Intelligence, virtual reality, mathematics, storybooks or mythology ki kitabo se mera 1 TB ki hard drive aur bookself dono full hone chala hai. Mujhe pata hai shayad kisi din, achanak, mera ye sapna toot jayega aur me jaag ke chillaunga, “yaar kya sapna tha, me insaan tha, mard, cheeze upar se niche ki taraf ludakti thi, physics thi, chemistry se ghin aata tha, mathematics zindagi ban chuka tha, log bahut pyare the, lekin aapas me ladai jhagra, khoon-kharaba v chalta tha, kitna adbhut sapna tha kaash thodi der or ruk jaata sapne me!”

firvi lekin ye khaalipan…ye akelapan…is sapne me ghutan hone laga hai…

Kya pehle sabka kehna manna, bewajah pyar karna, fir shikayat ki daldal se uth naa pana- zindagi ko koshna, shak, dhokha or zalim duniya se nipatna…maksad kaha hai mera zindagi ka? Kiu pata nahi lagraha? Ye sab sawal mere dimag ko khaa rahi hai pichle 2 saalo se. Khudse pyar karna tha, lekin ab duniya bardast ke bahar hone laga hai…shant nahi ho paaraha is khaali khandar jaysa nakli muskan or jhuthi aasuo ke duniya me. Man karta hai jahar peeke hamesha ke liye shant ho jau…nikal aau mera iss sapne se. Guruji, kya me pagal ho gaya hu? He ajgar, mera shikar karneka kya lenge aap?

Shibaayan

1 Comment

Ashu Tembhurne

Ashu Tembhurne 08/02/2018 at 7:26 am

Bahut Adbhud likhe ap ne…maza aa gaya

Ans- Tumhe pyar Chaye tum Kisi pyar si ladki se ishq Karo Tumhe tumra jawab Mil jayngaa

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